How Do You Deal With Pain?

Over the past couple weeks, I've been contacted by some very nice people who have read my blog posts. One of the questions that keeps coming up is, "How do you deal with your pain?" My initial answer is always just take it one day at a time. This is true because I can feel different every day; however, the more I think about this answer, the more I realize it isn't really that helpful. I've been pondering this question a lot over the past few days. Below are a few things I do to deal with the pain.

I am in no denial that my situation kind of sucks and can hurt like hell on certain days; however, watching someone you love go through chemo and radiation treatments for their cancer, makes you view things with a different perspective. I guess you can say my compass is set differently. There is never a day where I don't hurt. My pain can change in severity and vary in location every day; however, it is not going to kill me. It is helpful for me to think of dealing with pain almost like a competition. The competitive mindset I had when I played soccer is still with me. Instead of being geared towards the game, it is geared towards all the various medical issues. In my head I think, who is going to win? Am I going to take control over the pain or am I going to let the pain control me. Some days I win and some days the pain wins. Depending on what level of pain, determines what activities I will participate in that day. It's really important to listen to your body and not cause further injury. At the same time, it's important to learn how to go about your day even if you hurt. With me, it's important to do some amount of exercise every day to keep my other joints strong.

If you want to maintain any amount of independence, it's important you learn how to modify various things. I've been doing this since the day I became injured in 2005. I am very stubborn about giving up any of my independence. My mind definitely has to think outside of the box in order to get tasks done. If that fails, then I will ask for help. I've been modifying tasks for so long that I don't think of it being any different than a "normal" person. I had to sit and really think about what activities I modify. Honestly it's everything. To name a few, I use my legs and my feet a TON. If I'm sitting on the couch and the person next to me says, "Hey, set this over there" they will put it between my feet and I will set it down that way. If I want to make a smoothie, I will climb up on a chair because I can't reach the top of the appliance. I get dressed/shower dangling over at the waist because my arms can't reach my head. I use straws in water bottles to get the last bit at the bottom because I don't have enough arm motion to raise the bottle to the correct angle. When people shake hands with me I don't extend my arm out. I will bend forward at the waist. The only time these modifications become more apparent to me is in a social setting outside of my home. This is when I really notice that I do things different. My family and I don't give it another thought. It's our normal.

My mom offered to help me make my smoothie but
sometimes it's harder to ask for help instead of doing it myself.

Modifying at its best. My nephew Justin is too heavy
for me to hold with my arms. In order to hold him, I sit on
the floor and bend my knee to support him. There is zero
stress/strain on my arms. 

Find a hobby/interest to use as an outlet. This is my saving grace every day. It is important to find something to distract yourself with so you don't think about how much you are hurting. Drawing and writing are my personal primary outlets. I can put music on while I draw or write and concentrate strictly on the task at hand. For some people they might gravitate towards reading, sewing, painting, watching a movie etc. Over the past week I've been experimenting trying to find the most comfortable position to draw. I've found I can't draw at a kitchen table, on the floor, on a bean bag, on the couch etc. I did find if I sit in our new recliner I can prop well enough to draw for short intervals at a time. If you are a chronic pain sufferer, I think finding a hobby is extremely important to help get you through each day.

I'm happy to have found a decent comfortable
position to draw even if it is for short intervals
at a time. It's better than nothing. 

Communicate with people. It can be done in various ways. There's one-on-one communication, email, phone conversation, text messaging, letter writing, blogging etc. With pain, one of the things I really think you want to avoid is isolation. I think it makes things worse because you're not thinking about anything else. I guess having 7 people in the house from ages 8-91 is a plus haha. It's never quiet and there is always someone to talk to. With chronic conditions, it is normal for relationships to change. Some people are accepting of this and some are not. Even though it can be a hard confusing time, it's bound to happen. This is one reason why it's important to be willing to make new friends. You can never have too many.

Get a pet! Pets are great companions. I'm personally a dog lover. Growing up, we always had a dog. I can't imagine life without one. They accept you no matter what physical ailment you have. They are happy to play one minute and lay by you the next to keep you company.

Daisy is happy to play

Daisy is also happy just keeping me company

LAUGHTER!! Find something to make you laugh. Don't be afraid to make yourself look silly and don't take life too seriously. Sometimes it feels good just to let go.

My niece Lizzy got this outfit as a gift. I told her I bet
I could fit in it. Surprisingly, I fit into her clothes.

Here's Lizzy in her outfit. She had my sister sew
the pants smaller so I wouldn't fit into them haha. 

People with Joint Hypermobility Syndrome aka
Ehler-Danlos Syndrome-Hypermobility Type lack the
protein collagen in their body. In my Christmas basket
 was this hair product. It says it has instant collagen infusion.
Now I joke I should have been looking in the hair care
aisle for medical treatment all these years.

One of the most important things I have discovered is to do something to help another person. Sometimes people with chronic medical conditions can get caught up in the drama of it all. It's important to take a step back and look at what you could be doing to help another individual. Be it a listening ear, writing a blog post, donating art, having a friendly conversation, or supervising a child so they don't burn the house down while they try to cook a pancake. The point is, you don't have to go out of your way to help another person. It can be as simple as just listening to somebody and letting them know you are there for them.

Everything I have written on this post I do all the time. You have to live life with a purpose. I never said it was easy but I refuse to give in. Every day, I have to chill out at some point in the day. It's just the way it is. If your body isn't working well one day, do something that only requires your mind. I hope some of you have found this post helpful. It doesn't cover everything I do to deal with pain but I think I've covered the most important ones that I do.

Don't Miss Out on Life

The timing of the surgery I had in May 2010 on my left shoulder was fantastic. I had zero stress from school because the semester had ended, and classes didn't start up again until August. It was a relief knowing I could strictly focus on recovering from this surgery without thinking how much homework/studying I have to do rolling around in the back of my mind. It was wonderful. Physical therapy started at the end of June. It was extremely difficult because my muscle was detached from my shoulder blade. A lot of times people don't think of their shoulder joint and shoulder blade coinciding. In order to do the various motions you do with your shoulder joint your shoulder blade has to move in some sort of fashion. Since I could only progress so far, I called Dr. B in Kentucky and we decided it was in my best interest to get my left scapula fixed so I would be able to progress in therapy.

Before having my scapular surgery on July 20, 2010 I wanted to have some fun first. At this point I was 21 years old. This surgery was less than 2 months after I had just had surgery on my left shoulder joint. If you do not incorporate any amount of fun in your life when you're having all of this surgery (doesn't even have to be surgery, it can be anything) there is no way you would be happy or feel like you have a purpose in life. It is a daily reminder in the back of my mind that reminds me there is more than just medical stuff which is why I get up everyday and keep fighting to get better. My life isn't the ideal lifestyle but it sure could be a whole lot worse.

11 days before surgery. My nieces and I in Chicago in front of

 Buckingham Fountain. It was a fantastic day. The

sun was shining, it was hot and we walked around everywhere. 

6 days before surgery. This is my niece Emily and I having fun in the

hot tub. I am not holding her; she is on an inner tuber.

2 days before surgery. This is my dad and I

at Natural Bridge State Park. We took a ski lift up to the

top and walked around taking in the view.

  

July 20, 2010 was surgery day in Kentucky with Dr. B. I had left scapular muscle reattachment surgery. This surgery with the new technique was WAY more painful than the old way. The incision is longer and some of the muscles are transferred to help stabilize the shoulder blade. This time Dr. B took part of my latissimus dorsi, serratus, and rhomboid and mobilized them so they sat on top of the very bottom of my shoulder blade to stabilize it. Everything in your torso hurts when you wake up from surgery. The pain goes across the front of your chest and all over your back because a lot of muscles are pulled tighter and reattached that way. Laying on the incision hurts like no other. It feels like there is a golf ball sitting on the bottom of your shoulder blade because your body isn't used to having these newly attached muscles there. Luckily this sensation goes away once your body adapts to it. Coughing, sneezing, and laughing all took on a new world of their own; nothing like doing an innocent sneeze and having all those muscles pull on your shoulder blade causing an insane amount of pain.

Usually I make a fake smile for the camera. Not this time.

It was more just take the picture and be done.

This is the bandaging I had to wear.

16 staples. This surgery is SO painful. The muscles are pulled and resecured
to my scapula via 5 sets of drill holes and are then basically sewn back with sutures.

The worst part about having staples is the incision looks
very unattractive afterwards. It does start to look better after
a couple weeks. In this picture you can see the difference
between the incision length on my left and right. The position
of my shoulder blade also sat different on my right side. It kind of
looks like I am shrugging my right shoulder but I'm not. That's the way
it sat because there was nothing holding the bottom of my
scapula in position.



Two weeks after surgery was a very special day. My Grandpa King who had served in WWII and was a decorated hero went with my cousin to Washington D.C for the day through the program Honor Flight Chicago. What a great organization. My Grandpa had one of his most special days of his life. Unknowingly to him, as he and all the veterans were spending the day in Washington D.C, all of the veterans families were gathering at the airport, along with military bands, and military personnel. We all made a parade to welcome home every one of these heroes. I felt horrible but there was nothing that was going to stop me from going to this one and only time that would allow me to honor my grandpa in this way. We spent several hours standing there waiting for the heroes to arrive. It just about killed me. As some of the older gentlemen walked and others were wheeled out one by one and saw all the hoopla that was there for them, every thought of myself went away. The expressions I saw, the older men in tears, the smiles on the older gentlemens faces made this the most special event I have ever seen.

My mom and I waiting to see my grandpa. 

My Grandpa King. He was shocked. The expression on

his face says it all.

If there is any advice that I could give, it would be to participate in what gives you LIFE no matter how rat nasty you feel. I had every reason not to go to Honor Flight Chicago at the airport. It was late at night. It was crowded. There was nowhere to sit so that meant standing for several hours. I was only home from Kentucky for one week and was 2 weeks out from surgery. My grandpa would have certainly understood why I wasn't there. My point is when you decide to stay home really consider it because you could be giving up some once in a lifetime moments that will warm you heart forever and you do not want to regret missing them. Live your life and enjoy yourself.

The last summer blast before school starts with my nieces.

My sister, my mom, and I getting our picture

taken at my cousin's wedding. This was taken

2.5 weeks after surgery. I did not want to miss

their wedding.